Countdown

4 cold nights left in Australia... What should I say. I'm exited, sad, confused. But I've managed to come in terms with the fact that I might never come back here, and I will never see most of these people again. It's sad of course, but I don't feel like the time we have left is too short. I'm more excited to start my real life back home. But while I'm still here I might as well share about stuff that's going on at the moment.

The last two weeks or so have been very laid back. We spent a long weekend in Hervey Bay where we did outreach debrief, and just hung out. I managed to get some of my tan back, but I'm still fairly pale compared to what I was in January... Sad days. After coming back to base, this time for good, we've had a very laid back week. Musicians did some recording (hopefully I'll be able to put some stuff on myspace at some point) and everybody else was free to do whatever. This week has looked pretty much the same. Some lectures on Re-Entry (read: the shock of coming back home), and a lot of parties and reminiscing. Graduation is on Friday, FRIDAY!!! It hasn't even hit me yet, that it's the day after tomorrow. Oh well. As I was saying, it's time to move on with my life. But more about the Grad maybe in my next (and probably last) post.

All the stuff I said about myself being a changed person after outreach in the last post wasn't necessary true. In Hervey Bay my old struggles with not being noticed started and I freaked out for a little while that I'm back in the starting point, but I found a balance and managed to get a more realistic picture of the ways that I have and haven't changed during the DTS. Last week we also had 2 lectures on Strengthfinders, which is a programme that helps you understand your personality and strengths, as well as other people's. I'd done the test you're required to take even before the DTS, but the lectures made a lot more sense than just knowing my top 5 strengths. I learnt a lot about myself in just two days, and managed to understand the causes and effects of so many dysfunctionals tendencies of mine. Some of my top 10 strengths were Empathy, Communication, Strategic, Responsibility, Command, Significance and a couple more that I can't remember. It also helped to see what are not my strengths; I'm not high on Positivity and Woo (Winning Others Over)... Makes sense. Makes a lot of sense. To me. This of course makes absolutely no sense to you, and I'm sorry for being so boring... Moving on.

Our last weekend on DTS was cool. On Saturday we had our very last MAD dance party, with a 50's swing theme. It was awesome, one of the best ones we've had. I'm gonna miss those parties... On Monday we had our band's very last gig, at a Lutheran College. I didn't have high expectations but it turned out to be really good. Musically it could've been better, but the audience was amazing, these little kids even came up to ask for autographs. After the weekend we started Re-Entry lectures. Yesterday we shared some constructive feedback with our outreach teams. We had to write about each member in our team what they should 1) Keep on doing, 2) Stop doing and 3) Start doing. Sounds pretty harsh, but it was really good. I was encouraged to keep on writing songs and finding my identity and security in God instead of other people, to stop putting myself down, focusing on the negative and being self-centered in my relationships, and to start thinking about what I say before saying it and expressing myself through other arts and not just music. Sometimes you just need to hear these things straight up in-your-face style. But nobody was mean, so that was good. This weeks mostly about closure, as well as preparing for the future. Today we talked about the challenges that'll face us when we go home, how for most people it's gonna be really hard when nobody understands and how circumstance change drastically and there's little to hold on to when the storms hit us. It's serious stuff and a bad Re-entry could take years to process. I'm not too worried, but of course I don't have any clue what the enemy might have in store for me when I go back. So I'm just bracing myself anyway...

Only 4 nights left... The last few days have been very stressful because of the volcano incident in Europe; I wasn't sure if I'd be able to fly into UK or not. But now most countries have opened their airspace, so as long as there won't be another eruption or a plane crash down cos of the ash, I should be good. Right now life feels like just waiting. A lot of stuff that I do is like the last time I'm doing it. Last dance party, last gig, last page of workbook, last community cleanup, last work duty(WOHOO), last last last. I'm sure the pressure of waisting valuable hanging out time by sleeping or blogging or packing or whatever will hit me at some point. It seems like everything except time has slowed down. Nothing's happening. It's like we're all just waiting, yet hoping that it would never end...

Oh well. We don't have to wait for long. Cos it will end. In two days. Please keep praying for my flight to be fine on Sunday. And pray for our school so that we could enjoy and make the most out of our last days together. Thank you!